Pitfalls In Dating As A Young Feminist [BlogHer Post]

“You can’t curse, it’s not lady like.”

I was so stunned by the statement, I actually took a moment to think carefully about myDating While Feminist Pin response. I’d been seeing this guy for just over 2 months and this wasn’t the first battle of wits we’d had. After a pause I calmly explained that, as a person I was free to curse at will and that if he felt it was offensive he was free to state that, but at no time was he going to tell me that I couldn’t curse because I was a girl.

“Seriously? What are you, some kind of feminist?”

I didn’t answer. There was that word: feminist. At the time of the argument, I chose to avoid the word and instead argue my case without a label. Needless to say, my “relationship” didn’t last more than a week or so after the conversation, but when I look back on it I question my decision not to claim feminism. I’ve watched it scare off more men than it’s attracted, and at 22 that’s just not the object of the game for me.

Click here to read the entire post over at BlogHer, where I now have the pleasure of being a syndicated blogger!

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1 Comment on Pitfalls In Dating As A Young Feminist [BlogHer Post]

  1. Z
    January 26, 2015 at 9:44 pm (2 years ago)

    Well, in a ocean full of sharks, who wants to jump in anyway?

    As a male feminist, I often worry about my appearance when I claim attribute to the label. I’ve seen a lot of men claim they are feminist, but hardly act accordingly, so I fear saying that I agree to the sentiments of the movement in fear of earning doubt from my peers.

    However, I think in dating its important to be straight forward with your partner. Even though this guy showed his bad side, what if you had been more straight forward about your opinions? I know it sounds weird, but maybe he would have decided he could change for you.

    My partner and I both started outside of the feminist movement and ended up joining it together. I didn’t do it because of her, but I certainly wouldn’t have taken the dive without her. I think for a lot of men, a good woman in their life that they can trust is all they need to come around and see the light.

    Besides, if a man can’t handle what you stand for, then find another man. And trust me, there are many men out there actively looking for women who identify as feminists because they feel more comfortable and open with them because they know they stand for equality.


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